No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
