if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
