I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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