he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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