it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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