Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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