I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
