I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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