Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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