Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
