she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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