my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
