we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
