i just google imaged poop.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
