Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
