garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
