he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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