Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
