i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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