she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
