she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
