He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
