Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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