What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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