I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just want to make out with him forever
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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