is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
