just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
