Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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