Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You are the jesus of drinking
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize