Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
