what day is it and did you see me today?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
