But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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