You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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