i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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