There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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