I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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