im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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