He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
