I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize