my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
