He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Is Oprah even human
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
