got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
