he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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