I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
