Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
