How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
