We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She bit a glass in half.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
