Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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