I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
