I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
