Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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