ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
