I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
