Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
