She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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