Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize