and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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