just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
