After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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