Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize