so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
