Cold hands, warm shart.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize