Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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