I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
