He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
